Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Similar, Except No Announcements In The Paper

It took over a year and a half but it is finally done.

Mrs. Joe & I filed for divorce Friday.

We used a single lawyer and filed uncontested. He mediated our divorce agreement and thankfully we were able to agree on everything. Going this route was a lot less stressful and cost much less.

I had to remortgage the house so I could buy out her half of the house and pay off a home improvement loan in both our names. We agreed that instead of child support I would pay for private school for the kids until high school. Not that I would think she would spend it foolishly but this way I know my money is going to the kids. Everything else had already been taken care of.

We met with the lawyer for the last time last Tuesday. I needed to show that the mortgage and the loan were taken care of. He had his clerk finish up the agreement and we signed the remaining paperwork. We left and had the agreements witnesses and notarized but could not file seeing the courthouse had already closed.

I left work early Friday and went to the courthouse. Of course nothing comes easy, so when the clerk asked me where our separation agreement was I realized it wasn’t included. So I had to drive back home, find the agreement, drive back to the courthouse, and wait in line but finally it was done.

We will receive a court date in September. Assuming the divorce is granted, we need to wait 120 days for it to become official. That puts things out until January.

I’m trying to look at this past Friday similarly to when I proposed to Mrs. Joe some 13 years ago. This divorce filing is like the wedding proposal and the 120th day after the hearing in front of the judge is the wedding ceremony.

I often told Mrs. Joe and others that from the day I proposed, I considered myself married and that the ceremony was a formality. Now I am trying to think that because the divorce paperwork is filed, I am divorced and the time from now until after the hearing with the judge is just a formality.

Either way, another big step is complete. I had the weekend to myself to think it over and I am happy with the decision I have made.

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Anonymous Jasmine said...

My thoughts are with you.... never an easy thing- but is sounds as though you are taking care of yourself and your kids.

Tue Aug 11, 02:05:00 PM 2009  
Blogger Pgoodness said...

I'm sure there are a lot of mixed feelings, but I'm
glad that relief is one of them. I'm sorry things didn't ultimately work out marriage wise; that's always sad. But I am happy for you that this is almost over!

Tue Aug 11, 07:30:00 PM 2009  
Blogger Woman with kids said...

Good for you guys to work things out so well, I know it can be hard. And it will get easier... as cliche as that is.

Wed Aug 12, 06:53:00 PM 2009  
Blogger Mike said...

The ex and I went through the same thing you did in our divorce. Same attorney and made the settlement much easier for all included. Including the kids, especially when they get older (take it from me).

Congrats on getting a chance to start your life again. It will be interesting, hard, and fun. You'll see....

Thu Aug 13, 04:17:00 PM 2009  
Anonymous this new place said...


Sat Aug 15, 10:35:00 AM 2009  
Anonymous TwoBusy said...

That's a strange juxtaposition, but I can see how it makes a real kind of sense.

Welcome to the next stage of your life. Better days ahead, my friend. Better days ahead.

(raising glass in a toast...)

Sat Aug 15, 03:46:00 PM 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

my thoughts are with you. it's difficult, easy, sad and good all at the same time, but it's something you'll survive and be a better man for . . . *hugs*

Mon Aug 17, 11:16:00 AM 2009  
Blogger Sandy said...

Glad to hear there are still reasonable people out there who don't need to use their kids as weapons. Good luck. I think you'll be fine. Sounds like the worst is over.

Tue Aug 18, 08:49:00 PM 2009  
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