Thursday, July 30, 2009

Asses & Elbows

I turned 39 at the beginning of this month. Not really a big deal to me. I don't think next year will be much worse but I have no problem putting the big 4-0 off for another year.

Yesterday, I had an appointment with my doctor. Not really a big deal either. I go once a year around this time. We usually swap some small talk, he asks the typical doctor/patient questions, I get some blood drawn and he sends me on my way until the next year.

Although this year I was under the impression my visit was going to be special. I thought I was a little young but I figured we have been together for years. It is time the doc & I moved our relationship along.

Yes, I left thinking that this year's appointment was going to include a prostate exam.

"Oh, my", I thought, "what will I wear?"

I showed up to the appointment yesterday a little nervous. I mean our relationship was going to the next level. Would he like what he seen? Would he still respect me?

As he came into the room, my, um, throat tightened. We talked for awhile, he looked me over and I thought, "this is it." I felt like I had been waiting all my life for this moment.

"Okay, everything seems to be fine. I'll have some blood drawn for tests and we'll see you next year."

And he was gone.

"Wait", I thought. "I am ready for you. I'm young but I can handle it."

But then he came back in the room, "He came back!", I gasped.

"When was your last tetanus shot?"

I couldn't remember.

"I'll get you one of those, too." and was gone again.

I felt rejected. How could he do this to me? I've been preparing all year for this.

A nurse then came in and gave me my tetanus shot. Since then, I haven't been able to move my left arm without a painful reminder of my doctor's appointment. I left the exam room, had some blood drawn and was out the door.

Knowing some doctor's bedside manners, he probably wouldn't have cuddled after anyway.



Blogger TwoBusy said...

"What will I wear?"

Yeah, I cackled out loud at that one.

Fri Jul 31, 10:32:00 PM 2009  
Anonymous this new place said...

I had one of those shots, I never went back for my second one.

Fri Jul 31, 11:30:00 PM 2009  
Blogger Dan said...

You could always stick your own finger up your bum if you're feeling left out.

Sat Aug 01, 02:59:00 AM 2009  
Blogger Whit said...

I had a similar experience. I figured it was time and the doctor said I was too young to worry about it. Well, I'm worried about it. He never called either.

Sat Aug 01, 12:51:00 PM 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

we women must (ahem) spread our legs for our Dr once a year. You will soon get used to the prostate exam and your more intimate relationship with your Dr.

Funny post. Loved it.

Sat Aug 01, 02:00:00 PM 2009  
Blogger Mike said...

Take it from someone who is older and not necessarily wiser. This is not something to get excited about.

I mean my doctor wouldn't buy me dinner or anything....

Tue Aug 04, 01:30:00 AM 2009  
Blogger Debbie said...

Don't you hate how you don't get any sympathy from females over this doctor thing? Well, maybe next year.

Tue Aug 04, 12:17:00 PM 2009  

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