Friday, June 05, 2009

Reality Bites


It was inevitable.

That first soon-to-be-ex-in-law family gathering that I had to attend.

It was last night. My sister-in-law graduated high school.

(My MIL remarried when Mrs. Joe was 15.)

Except for my MIL, FIL and both their new spouses, not one of Mrs. Joe's family has seen me since Mrs. Joe moved out last March. I planned on only going to the ceremony and to skip the dinner after.

I took my SIL out for dinner Tuesday and explained why. I told her that I didn't want to take anything away from her night and if both her sister and I were there for dinner people may find it uncomfortable. She understood.

Both Mrs. Joe & I attended the ceremony. Afterwards, as I was planning on saying goodbye, Mrs. Joe told me to come for dinner and there wouldn't be any problems. Against better judgement, I agreed.

Once we got to the restaurant it was apparent Mrs. Joe asked me to go because she didn't want to face her family alone. She also obtained a little courage via 3 cosmopolitans.

Although the family made sure to keep clear of asking either of us how we were doing, it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Mrs. Joe & I individually said hi to mostly everybody. I apologized to my MIL if anybody was uncomfortable. She, of course, said it was fine.

I had dinner and went to duck out early. I had the kids at home and I told the babysitter I'd be home early. I said goodbye to my SIL and congratulated her again.

Proving that Mrs. Joe wanted me there for her own support, she said her goodbyes as well and asked me to walk her to her car.

I walked her to her car, made sure she was okay to drive, and walked back to my car.

The thought of feeling that uncomfortable in front of my own family is sad. There are times, times like this, that I feel so sorry for her. Can anybody realize what they are doing when they leave their spouse the way she left me?

I think Mrs. Joe realizes it a little better now.

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9 Comments:

Anonymous poetrystruth said...

Wow how selfish is that? You are a better person than I. I wouldn't have attended the dinner, no way no how. It's time for her to put her big girl panties on and face her family...alone.

Sat Jun 06, 10:48:00 AM 2009  
Blogger TwoBusy said...

Nice to know she's capable of shame. That's probably a mean thing for me to say, but... fuck it: at this point, it comes as something of a surprise.

Sat Jun 06, 11:24:00 AM 2009  
Blogger Woman in a Window said...

I think you got it right back here. What you just wrote there. Shame and humility, it's been a long time coming.

Sun Jun 07, 07:42:00 AM 2009  
Blogger Mike said...

Yeah, your right it is sad. However, maybe in time those times won't be as hard. I've been able (after a few years) to actually speak to my MIL and FIL...

Mon Jun 08, 02:49:00 AM 2009  
Anonymous jasmine said...

My husband is kind of in love with Craigslist....
we got a brand new Charmglow grill for free once, and since then he checks the free listing every day. He calls and I have to explain that, "no honey we don't need 50 mason jars....even if they are free!"

Mon Jun 08, 01:59:00 PM 2009  
Anonymous movin down the road said...

You are amazing to have gone there! I never could/would have. I walked into my exinlaws house last Christmas to see my ex SIL baby...and walked into 20 of the family members as if it were yesterday that I had been there with them. It was horrible and strange. Worse, my kids were there and wanted me to stay for Christmas dinner! Never again...to any degree

Mon Jun 08, 11:15:00 PM 2009  
Blogger Debbie said...

I can't imagine being that uncomfortable. And I'm glad she is. She needs to grow up a little.

Tue Jun 09, 05:40:00 PM 2009  
Anonymous M@ said...

Wow man, I haven't been reading much of anyone else's blog because of some messy stuff, but you have me beat. Just went back and read all of your separation related posts.

I feel for you man, stay strong. I can't believe that she would pull this kind of crap with her family and drag you into it.

Wed Jun 10, 09:44:00 AM 2009  
Anonymous Monica said...

So let me being by stating it's a slow week for me at work, so that you don't get the impression that I'm a complete slacker. Nonetheless, I found your blog yesterday, rather by accident, as I only read a couple of blogs on a regular basis, and have read every single post. Every single one. in 24 hours. They are wonderful. I honestly have rarely enjoyed reading blogs because many people either write badly or have pompous opinions of themselves that turn aggravating after a while. Yours is quite different and refreshing.
Thank you so much for sharing your stories and experiences and kids lives! Your writing is intriguing, and even better, you are so open and honest about your feelings that it's hard not to sympathize. All I can say is thanks, and I look forward to reading more of your posts. Good luck with everything.

Wed Jun 10, 11:56:00 AM 2009  

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