Thursday, April 23, 2009

A Little Bit Of Spring Cleaning

It had to be done.

For more than one reason, too.

Mrs. Joe had the kids this past weekend and I had Monday off from work thanks to Massachusetts being the only state other than Maine to celebrate Patriots' Day.

So that left me with three entire days to myself.

What to do…

I thought of getting away for a couple of days. Just pack a few changes of clothes and escape for awhile. Cooperstown, NY was and idea. It is only a 4 hour drive for me and I have never been to the Baseball Hall of Fame.

Then reality set in.

I just don’t have the money to get away for a few days. Mrs. Joe has been gone for a little over a year now and the financial safety net has been stretched pretty tight. With the summer coming, I am going to want to take the kids somewhere as well.

So I decided to scrap my mini vacation and stay home. There are plenty of things I can tackle around the house anyway, I thought.

Then I realized the time had to come and it had to be done anyway.

So I spent the three days cleaning my attic.

Let me tell you, nothing says “relaxing, enjoyable weekend by yourself” like standing in a dusty attic separating all your shit from your wife’s.


My house has a huge walk up attic and when Mrs. Joe & I bought it ten years ago every moving box was put up there. Over the first few months, we emptied a few boxes but as you can imagine, most of it just sat there.

Then came the instances when we needed something that was still packed away. Of course we forgot where everything was in so we would start searching boxes. Add two kids worth of baby stuff and over time, the attic became a huge mess.

Last year, when Mrs. Joe moved out she did not take anything from the attic so it stayed the way it was. I knew I would eventually have to go thru everything, separating my stuff from hers, and box everything back up.

So the time was as right as it would get. Three days later, the attic was cleaned up. All of her stuff was boxed up along one wall while mine was boxed up along the other.

It was a shitty job, both emotionally and physically. I can’t recommend going thru dusty boxes that hold memories of a better time to anybody. Coming across pictures from our honeymoon and boxes of The Champ’s baby stuff almost made me cry. I just told myself that I did not ask for this and there is nothing that can be done to take back what has happened over the last year.

Mrs. Joe stopped by Monday, after I finished up. She saw the trash bags on the porch and thought that was her stuff. I led her to the attic, showing her what I had done. Upon seeing it, she simply turned around and left without even a thank you.

Later, she said she was upset at seeing me “box her up”. Doesn’t she see that I never wanted this? I had to do this. I have to get some level of closure. Removing her from my house is a start. Next step is getting the boxes out of the attic. Who knows when that’ll be.

We have scheduled an appointment with a lawyer. In MA we can use the same lawyer for divorce if it is uncontested. It saves us both money and aggravation. We have agreed on child support and visitation. All that’s left is the filing, court appointments and the hearings.

I hope it all can get wrapped up by the end of the year.

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OpenID iamagrownup said...

That had to be a very hard job. When I moved I had to do it myself and if it hadn't been for 2 friends helping me I would have cried the whole time. Hang in there, you are doing a great job.

Fri Apr 24, 10:40:00 AM 2009  
Anonymous TwoBusy said...

She was upset? SHE was upset?

(head exploding)

Her level of entitlement never ceases to amaze me.

Fri Apr 24, 01:59:00 PM 2009  
Blogger Woman in a Window said...

I'm with TwoBusy. Right there.

Fri Apr 24, 08:35:00 PM 2009  
Anonymous poetrystruth said...

I can understand her being upset. Even though she's done a lot of damage who wants to face their life being separated from someone they have shared so much with.

Even with what she's done it doesn't mean she doesn't ache in many of the same ways you do. Not ranting at you just giving you my perspective.

Congrats on the spring cleaning, I need to follow your example...sadly our attic is the most organized space in the house.

Sat Apr 25, 11:40:00 AM 2009  
Blogger HW said...

Seems Mrs. Joe boxed her life up when she made her decision a year ago.
Please do not carry those boxes down from the attic for her.

Mon May 04, 01:27:00 PM 2009  

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