Thursday, February 28, 2008

Able To Leap Toys Left On The Floor In A Single Bound

Like most 6 year old boys, The Champ has his share of superhero pajamas. And like most 6 year old boys, he runs around thinking he's Superman or Batman while wearing said pajamas.
So it came to surprise me on Tuesday night as I told him it was time to take a shower.

"Champ, go up to your room and get some pajamas and a pair of underwear. It's time to take a shower."


Unfortunately, I had to repeat myself a few times until he actually went upstairs but none the less. After about ten minutes he was still up there so I yelled up to him.

"C'mon, get some pajamas and let's go."

He came downstairs a few minutes later with some clothes but they were not pajamas.

"Why didn't you bring down any pajamas?" I asked him.

His reply saved his skinny little ass.

"I did. I got a white t-shirt and some striped pants. I want to wear pajamas like you tonight."






Now that makes me wonder about a few things. What would my superhero name be and would I look better with a cape like Superman or a shield like Captain America?

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Monday, February 25, 2008

Sneaky Pea


We were finishing up at the dinner table last night, Peanut, Mrs. Joe and me. Mrs. Joe made a lemon chicken dish with rice and peas for us while she made the kids chicken nuggets with some rice and peas. Yes, Mrs. Joe is still cooking me dinner. (I don’t get it, either.) The Champ was already finished and in the living room while Peanut was determined to eat nothing but the peas.

“I want more peas,” she asked upon finishing her share.

“You can’t have anymore peas until you eat some of the nuggets,” we both told her.

“Pease!” she asked. She meant “please” but hasn’t gotten the hang of her L’s yet.

“Eat another nugget and you can have some more peas,” I told her.

She took one bite but then spotted The Champ’s unfinished bowl of peas across the table.

“Can I have those?” as she pointed to The Champ’s peas.

“Not until you eat a nugget,” Mrs. Joe said.

Mrs. Joe and I then started a conversation about money and bills once she leaves. We had not got around to those talks until this weekend. And let me tell you, it wasn’t all that bad, but it did get heated. While this was going on, Peanut quietly got down from her chair, tiptoed behind me, around to where The Champ sits and slowly started to take his bowl of peas from the table.

As Mrs. Joe and I realized what was going on we stopped talking. Peanut froze. The look on her face as she was caught red-handed was the most adorable thing you could ever see.

Mrs. Joe and I immediately burst out laughing at the little sneak. We then put the conversation on hold. There are times and places for everything and Peanut had just reminded us that that wasn't the time or the place.

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Friday, February 22, 2008

I'll Pass On The Intervention


With the school vacation this week, Mrs. Joe & I needed to find someone to watch The Champ on the three days during the week Mrs. Joe works. She decide to take Monday off, the daycare Peanut goes to was willing to watch The Champ on Wednesday while my mother-in-law was asked to watch him yesterday. She offered to take Peanut as well.

With Thursday being pilates night for Mrs. Joe, the plan was for me to pick them up at my in-laws after I got out of work. My MIL called me at work and offered to cook dinner for the three of us. Never willing to pass on a free meal, I accepted.

I got there after work and started talking to my MIL while the kids were watching a video in the living room with my sister-in-law. The conversation went towards Mrs. Joe & I's coming separation. I filled her in and noted that one concern Mrs. Joe has is that she thinks both her parents' second marriages are unhappy and she doesn't want to be in an unhappy marriage for the rest of her life. My MIL noted that all marriages have up and downs but she wouldn't consider hers unhappy. I told her it might help to talk to her daughter and discuss this.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

It seems my MIL called Mrs. Joe this morning while I was at work. I am not sure how the conversation went but I do know this:

Mrs. Joe is livid at me now, to the point that she isn't speaking to me.

Mrs. Joe is livid at her mother too, to the point that she hung the phone up on her.

It seems in Mrs. Joe's eyes this is my fault. She said I should not have talked to her mother about our problems. Maybe she's right but I seen a possibility for her mother to try to talk some sense into her and I acted.

Silly me, trying to save my marriage.

Anyway, I got some Sam Adams White Ales for everybody. Here's to all who are riding this roller coaster with me, thanks.

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Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Dead Marriage Walking

Things have been pretty much status quo here the past week. Mrs. Joe still plans on leaving as soon as possible. I am mentally preparing the best I can but I can’t imagine how I will feel. I think I’ll be okay regarding Mrs. Joe but the kids will be a whole different story.

There was not much discussion the past week about her leaving. There wasn’t really much discussion of anything. I have said how I feel and so has she. Small talk seems meaningless. Nothing seems harder than sitting across the dinner table from your wife knowing she doesn’t want to be with you anymore.

We did have a little disagreement about once the apartment becomes available. She planned on spending time over there cleaning and painting before she moves. I told her that I hoped she didn’t expect me to watch the kids while she’s doing this. I figure, let her go over there after they go to bed. Or better yet, take some time off from work.

“I will not assist you in breaking up our family,” I told her.

That didn’t fly too well.

Both Mrs. Joe’s parents are now aware of her wanting a separation. Neither is happy about it. They both told me that if there was anything they could do for me to just ask.

Here’s one, how about talking to your damn daughter.

My sister has been fantastic throughout all of this. With our parents gone and she being my only sibling, we only have each other. She has had her share of marriage difficulties and has helped me with this more than I could have ever imagined. I have never felt so close to her as I have in the last few weeks. At times, this separation seems like a blessing in disguise.

Some have asked where Peanut & The Champ will go. So far, Mrs. Joe & I have been very agreeable in that the kids’ time will be split evenly between both homes. Mrs. Joe’s parents separated when she was five and their split sounded very amicable. I get the impression that she wants the same for our two kids.

The tenant is supposed to be out by this Saturday. Mrs. Joe said she will need the following week to get it ready. So that’s pretty much one more week of this so-called normalcy we will have to experience. Then the fun starts. I just hope we can both stay mature adults and not turn this into a mess.

All the while, I’ll probably be hoping for that phone call advising a stay of execution.

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Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Acceptance

Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgment of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you're going to do about it. - Kathleen Casey Theisen

I have come to accept the fact that Mrs. Joe will be moving out. Even with my attempts to have her stay and try to work things out, she is determined to leave. Things have been said and actions have been taken to show me this is the best decision at this time.

Over the last few weeks we have talked about our relationship, where it was, where it is and where it could/will be. I have learned Mrs. Joe has blamed me for a lot of her decisions. In some cases she is right but in others I disagree. Our communication was poor and our true feelings were not expressed properly. Her anger and resentment toward me regarding her decisions makes resolving any of this very difficult at this time.

Preparations have begun. I noted her grandmother had passed away last week. Well, Mrs. Joe decided to take all of grandmother’s furniture and things for her new apartment. Right now, our front porch is filled with dressers, tables and boxes waiting for the apartment to open up.

Mrs. Joe also admitted that she still has contact with the other guy and will probably see him outside of work after we separate. Knowing this shows me that there is something still there between them and until she makes some kind of decision, trying to work on us seems worthless.

My therapist agrees a separation would be best. She has shown me some of my faults and I need to work on bettering myself as well. I also know I will need to step back and think about being able to handle the adultery. That is if she even wants to come back. Right now I couldn’t tell you one way or another.

So for now, I need to focus on myself, along with Peanut and The Champ. I need to make the next few weeks as routine as possible for them because after that their world will be turned upside down.

I also need to prepare myself for what's coming because I will be useless to them if I am not ready.

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Thursday, February 07, 2008

Nobody Took My Clothes Either


A fellow coworker who I have talked with about my situation with Mrs. Joe offered get me out of the house and take me to the Y to teach me how to play racquetball.

Let me start by saying the closest thing that I have participated in that resembles anything athletic within the last ten years would be volleyball at one of my in-laws 4th of July parties. Trust me, there were no Olympic medals being handed out after those games. And the most important rule there was not to knock over anyone’s beer.

So wanting space from Mrs. Joe, I took him up on his offer. I asked him what I was to bring. He said he had an extra racquet for me to use so all I needed was some gym clothes and water.

“Oh, and don’t forget a towel, shampoo and some soap. You will want to take a shower afterwards,” he added.

Now that was something I didn’t think about.

I will now admit to all of you something that is a little embarrassing.

I have never in my life taken a shower in a locker room.

Yes, my scrawny little ass has never shined bright in a men’s locker room, even in school. Back then I said it was because I was a long haired, Bret Michaels wanna-be who thought he was too cool for gym class. Also, although I wouldn’t admit it, I was scared to have any locker room pranks played on me. And unless you joined the service or a gym after high school, when would you need to take a shower outside your house?

So we went last Friday evening and played for about two hours. He told me I’d be sore for the next few days and trust me I was. It was fun even though I am pretty competitive and getting my ass handed to me wasn’t so easy to take. The best part is that it kept my mind occupied, which with everything going on, is the most difficult thing to do. We are supposed to go again this Monday and I am looking forward to it.

And the shower wasn’t as traumatizing as I imagined. At least nobody snapped me in the ass with a towel.

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Sunday, February 03, 2008

Delay Of Game

On top of everything going on in our house lately, Mrs. Joe's grandmother took a turn for the worse and passed away Thursday. It did not come as a surprise. She had been battling cancer for awhile and fought it longer than anyone expected.

The wake has been scheduled for today. Yes, Superbowl Sunday. There will be only one afternoon viewing, from 2:00 until 5:00. I guess it could have been worse, there could have been both an afternoon and evening viewing scheduled.

So, later today I have to spend three plus hours side by side with Mrs. Joe, greeting all of her family who are clueless to our troubles and act accordingly. With everything going on in Mrs. Joe’s head right now, these last few days must have been hell on her. She hasn't come to me for anything and I don't really know if she even wants to. I will do my best and be available if she needs me to be. I figure I can put everything aside, at least for a little while.

My buddy Big D invited me to a party at his house for the game. It is always a great time with way much food and more than enough beer. I still plan on heading over there after the wake. I should get there just in time for kickoff. I will decompress and try to forget everything, even if it’s just for a few hours and enjoy the game.

Specifically, to enjoy the Patriots become 4 time Superbowl Champions!!!

Enjoy the game.

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