Friday, November 21, 2008

Another Chapter

There was enough drama it would have made Stanley Kubrick proud.

It was 2pm on Monday. I took the day off from work to finish repainting my bedroom from over the weekend.

I’ll save that update for another post.

GBD was over. She knew I had the day off and came by to see the room. We were upstairs. There was a rather hard knock at the door.

You know where this is going.

I went to the door and there was Mrs. Joe. I could tell she knew. She came in saying she needed something from the attic and went upstairs. I followed her, hoping there would be no scene. She ignored GBD and went into the attic, retrieved what she wanted and came back down stairs. She had a few choice words for me and left.

To my surprise, she came back about ten minutes later. I let her in. She went back upstairs and not-so-politely asked GBD to leave and that she needed to talk to her husband. GBD complied.

I won’t go into the conversation too much other than to say Mrs. Joe had officially hit rock-bottom emotionally. I understand how she could be upset for GBD being there but to make such a big scene? I tried to explain that I was getting on with my life and she could not control who I had in the house that she moved out of.

As the conversation went on, I started to realize that this was probably it, the last hurrah. The last chance at I don’t know what.

So I revealed all my secrets.

I stood there and told her I knew his name, his position and the store he works at. I told her how I knew and when.

She was speechless.

I told her about the time I sat on the porch of her apartment, knowing he was inside and how I did not act the way she just did.

She did not say a word.

I told her about the time I went to where he works and walked around until I found his picture on the wall, allowing me to put a face to a name.

Still nothing.

I then compared my reactions to hers. How I didn’t do anything while she made a big scene.

She settled down a bit. I don’t remember where the conversation went after that. She left, still rather angry but I think she began to realize her actions.

Since then she has apologized. I think she has begun to understand what she has done to me, herself and our family. I have not taken any action regarding us over the last few months. I now feel we are so far apart there can’t be reconciliation but I just can’t seem to close the book on her.

Some call it stupidity. At times I agree. But then I remember us before all of this and wonder if we can somehow go back there.

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Blogger Mike said...

I think you need to decide if the affair will affect you from moving into counseling. You both need to go there. But only if you can move on from her infidelity.

Been there with my ex and I wish both of you much luck.

Fri Nov 21, 10:13:00 PM 2008  
Anonymous TwoBusy said...

Mrs. Joe is a real piece of work. I can't believe she had the temerity - never mind the hypocrisy and total lack of self-awareness - to bust in to the house that SHE ABANDONED to create that kind of a scene.

(shaking head in disgust)

Sat Nov 22, 07:32:00 AM 2008  
Anonymous mom2divas said...

From the very beginning I knew how selfish Mrs. Joe really was and this last scene really just reconfirms this. I'm sorry that GBD had to be part of the receiving of this emotional pitfall. I'd have to agree with TwoBusy, what did she expect when SHE ABANDONED the house/family?

As for you feelings in this, it must be difficult - she WAS the love of your life that you committed to and the mother of your children. No one thinks you're crazy to want to back to where you were before all this.

BTW - this mo2divas from Apple and Persimmon, I've move to another spot.

Sat Nov 22, 08:22:00 AM 2008  
Anonymous movin' down the road said...

Good job! She got a slap in the face, eh? My ex does things that drive me mad, because we dont behave similarly in the same situations. Let's just say, he's the one that gets out of hand.

If you are going through a divorce and file, an automatic restraining order on possessions and house is put into place. In it can also include no re-entry in the house that she abandoned without your permission. You didnt need to let her in or answer the door.

Sat Nov 22, 09:35:00 AM 2008  
Blogger Angie in Texas said...

i have to agree with TwoBusy . . . who does she THINK she is to cause a scene like that?! the nerve!

(there is nothing wrong with the feelings you're having . . . they're all natural. of course you want to go back to where you were before all of "this". but mike is right, you have to ask yourself: can YOU get on considering the infidelity? i couldn't - that's why we got divorced.)

did it feel good to get all that off your chest?

Sat Nov 22, 12:49:00 PM 2008  
Blogger womaninawindow said...

It's not stupidity. It's decency. You never cease to astound me. Neither does she, not in the same way.

My best, always.

Sat Nov 22, 03:52:00 PM 2008  
Anonymous Redneck Mommy said...

You deserve better than what she constantly dishes out to you, Joe.

I hope you remember this. You are a good man. Who deserves all the happiness he can find.

Sun Nov 23, 02:50:00 PM 2008  
Blogger Whit said...

You continue to be the bigger person. Good job.

Mon Nov 24, 02:45:00 AM 2008  
Blogger Childsplayx2 said...

I'm glad you made her understand this is a two-way street and that you've experienced it all too.

Good luck, my friend. I totally understand when you say you can't close a book. I think she'll always be in your "book" but just in a previous chapter.

Mon Nov 24, 02:46:00 AM 2008  
Blogger Ben and Bennie said...

You amaze me with your civility towards your soon-to-be-ex. She has acted immature from the beginning so the latest isn't a surprise. However, the way you handled the situation lets me know what a terrific dad you are and will continue to be.

Mon Nov 24, 06:50:00 PM 2008  
Blogger John said...

I have to say, it never ceases to amaze me how complicated it can be when a couple splits. I applaud your handling of the situation!

I agree with mom2divas...she was so important, it's understandable that the feelings for who she used to be would linger around, and for you to wish it could be like it was. Just don't get into the wallowing, self-torture mode.

Thu Nov 27, 03:21:00 PM 2008  

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