Thursday, March 20, 2008

It Would Be Easier If He Seen A Monster

I heard something last night that I had never heard before. See, I had just left Wal-Mart because over the last week, I had kept a list of the little things that Mrs. Joe took that I needed to replace. Nail clippers, a paring knife, can opener, hand lotion, etc. So I went to get those things and to also get Peanut & The Champ something for Easter.

I was in my car and since Mrs. Joe moved out I have called the kids every night that she has had them to say good night and to tell them I love them. Last night, I talked to Peanut first, which due to the fact that she has just started talking, isn't much of a conversation. I told her to be good for mommy and that I love her. She said bye and then handed the phone to The Champ.

He seemed to be upset about something. I asked him what was the matter. A typical "nothing" was his response.

I pressed on and he stopped me in my tracks.

"I'm a little scared," he replied. That was the first time he ever told me he was scared of something.

"Scared of what?"

"Mommy is really yelling at Peanut and it's making me a little scared."

Apparently Peanut was not cooperating at bath time. I told him it would be okay and he told me he would be alright. I told him I loved him and he told me the same. I then asked him to put his mother on the phone.

I did my best to keep the tone civil. I asked her if everything was alright. She said it was. I told her what The Champ said about being scared and she had no reply. I added I was concerned that he had never said anything like that before. No reply. A few seconds went by.

And then she hung up the phone on me.

After I calmed down, I drove home. I later checked my home e-mail to find the following letter from Mrs. Joe:

Well I ruined Christmas for u & New Year's so here let's ruin Easter!

I want a divorce.......... If you'd like to make the session w/the therapist go for it ??? in about 2 weeks ..

maybe we can be done with this game by your B-day so you can have your own fireworks instead of the relationship ones.. because I am DONE!

Regarding the last line, my birthday is the fourth of July. But I guess that sums up her latest feelings towards me. I didn't react much at all to the e-mail. I figure she was just venting at my asking if she was okay and mentioning The Champ being scared. Either way, a reconciliation doesn't look too promising.

As for Easter, I have them tonight but she has them for the weekend. As I said, I picked up some stuff for the Easter Bunny to give them. I made some baskets earlier tonight after they went to bed and hid a bunch of eggs with chocolate and some with money around the house. I have the day off from work so tomorrow morning when they wake up they will learn the Easter Bunny stopped by a few days early and we will check out our baskets and search for some eggs.

I guess it will be a Good Friday after all

If I don't post before, Happy Easter everybody.

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Blogger angie said...

this is not an excuse for her but:
obviously something is wrong on her end.

. . . i don't know what to say - i've been there/live here. i'm sorry. but the important thing is that you're here for them and that they know you love them.

be strong.

oh . . . and f*ck that b*tch . . .

Fri Mar 21, 12:25:00 AM 2008  
Anonymous uumomma said...

Joe... please document this, not just on your blog...but somewhere else may need it someday.


Fri Mar 21, 04:05:00 AM 2008  
Anonymous TwoBusy said...

Damn. This just keeping coming up all new flavors of ugly, doesn't it?

(shaking head incredulously)

Hope your kids had a great time this morning finding all the eggs. Make sure they look between the couch cushions -- the Easter Bunny gets tricky that way sometimes.

Fri Mar 21, 03:33:00 PM 2008  
Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

I'm really sorry, Joe. It still just sounds so hard.


Fri Mar 21, 03:53:00 PM 2008  
Anonymous Dan said...

I'm with angie on both the her first and last points.

You do need to be recording this stuff. Just incase you need it. Hopefully she'll remember how to be an adult and you wont need it. But it's good to be safe.

Fri Mar 21, 05:15:00 PM 2008  
Blogger Whit said...

I guess this is when you find out what you're both made of. Sounds like you've got the better.

Fri Mar 21, 10:57:00 PM 2008  
Blogger Mama Nabi said...

Okay... the divorce part is no surprise... although, why she didn't just come out and discuss it earlier (it's obvious - was obvious - that divorce is what she wanted ultimately all along, at least from your posts...)... I suppose it was simpler for her to move out under the pretense of possible reconciliation but that's just painful for the kids, especially for Champ who may be old enough to have hoped for reconciliation.

Then her response... bizarre. Sigh. Not rational. It's no fun dealing with irrational spouse. It's no fun watching your kid(s) deal with an irrational parent.

LN's recently told me that she was scared of Daddy... I don't know how to deal with that, either. Irrational people don't deal well with rational questions... and feel each thing you say is an accusation.

Good luck...

Sat Mar 22, 01:02:00 PM 2008  
Blogger Pgoodness said...

I wish I had some profound, amazing words of wisdom for you, but alas, all I can do is say I'm sorry and hang in there. I agree with angie - something is seriously wrong on her end...

Sat Mar 22, 02:36:00 PM 2008  
Blogger charlotta-love said...

I'm sorry Joe. I don't know what to say other than that. You are still in my prayers.

Tue Mar 25, 08:25:00 AM 2008  
Anonymous Redneck Mommy said...

I know I'm supposed to be supportive and non judgmental and all that, but hey, I care. Shoot me.

If you'd like, I'd happily come down there and wring her scrawny little neck for you.

Now back to my supportive side.

Stay strong for the kids. And for yourself. Once the rain stops pouring the clouds will part and the sun will shine for you again. Promise.

Tue Mar 25, 07:13:00 PM 2008  

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