Friday, December 14, 2007

Sit Still And Eat Your Frittata


An invitation arrived a last week addressed to Mrs. Joe & I. It was from Mrs. Joe's stepfathers’ sister, Aunt B, inviting us to a brunch in honor of their mother’s ninetieth birthday. Mrs. Joe’s stepfather and his family have always included us in their events, so this invite didn't really come as a surprise. The surprise might have been the events that transpired at the brunch which was held this past Sunday.

We knew the brunch would be tough on Peanut & The Champ. We gave them the most sincere “you have to behave” speech imaginable. And we also knew that expecting a 6 year old and a 2 year old to sit still for at least an hour at a place that didn't serve chicken nuggets was a lot to ask for.

We made sure to arrive on time but we all ended up having to wait as the room we were to eat in was still being set up. As Mrs. Joe stepped away to say hello to someone, Aunt B came up to the kids & I.

“Oh, look we have unexpected guests.”

Oh, Shit!

Now nowhere on the invitation did it say our children were not invited. I know some people like some events free of the little ones and in most cases I can understand. But she did not lead us to believe this was the case. Up til then, there had never been an instance when our children were not invited to one of their gatherings.

I did the smart thing. I kept my mouth shut, gave her a kiss and thanked her for inviting us.

A few minutes later, she came back over to say hi to Mrs. Joe.

“I didn't know you were going to bring the kids.”

After shooting me the same "Oh, Shit" look, Mrs. Joe did the smart thing as well. She gave her a kiss and thanked her for inviting us.

Once the room was ready, we made sure we sat at the end table, closest to the door. This to allow a quick escape if need be. My in-laws sat next to us to aide in the assumed rebellion by the kids. Early on, they were quiet, mostly due to the waffles they were stuffing in their mouths. But once the waffles were finished, the trouble began.

With the sugar from the syrup kicking in, it would have been the best time to leave. The problem was that by now, everybody had finished eating and all those “back in the day” speeches were being given. You can’t just up and leave during those.

“Excuse me Uncle Larry, Can you hold off on that story about you and Gram at the pond when you were kids for just a minute? Gram, thanks for the free meal. We’re leaving now. By the way, Happy birthday.”

So the children began to run and Mrs. Joe & I each ordered another mimosa.

Midway through the third speech, there was no hope. They were running all over the room, playing in the curtains, jumping on and off the chairs. Mrs. Joe & I, along with my in-laws, gave a valiant effort to contain them but to no avail. Finally after five speeches, and maybe 3 mimosas, it was over. We were able to say goodbye and get the hell out of there. I guess it could have been worse, nobody broke anything.

I just don't think Aunt B will be inviting us to anything anytime soon.

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10 Comments:

Blogger Ben & Bennie said...

Something similar happened to us a few years back. Our neighbors were having a Christmas party. No where on the invitation did it say children were not invited.

Fortunately I called a day in advance just to make sure we'd have room for Ben & his equipment. I was informed rather pointedly that no children were expected. I politely declined the invite since we knew we couldn't find anyone to keep Ben at the last minute.

Unfortunately the neighbors have been very snotty to us ever since. Their children evidently aren't allowed to play with our daughter or her friends when they're out and about.

I look at it as their loss. Oh yeah, the man of the house is a Presbyterian preacher.

Sat Dec 15, 01:33:00 PM 2007  
Blogger Redneck Mommy said...

I gotta say, Aunt B screwed up. Isn't there an unwritten rule that any invite from a RELATIVE (no matter how distant) automatically includes children unless clearly marked otherwise?

I'd have brought my kids along too. And drank a lot.

Sat Dec 15, 02:02:00 PM 2007  
Blogger Whit said...

With all respect, screw Aunt B. Who has family parties that aren't open to the entire family?

I hope you put the mimosas on her bill.

Sat Dec 15, 03:04:00 PM 2007  
Blogger Ben & Bennie said...

Just another thought: the REAL Aunt B would've let Opie come along.

Sun Dec 16, 05:10:00 PM 2007  
Blogger Darren said...

I would think it would be more fun to have kids at a 90th birthday party, but it was their choice. Still, I would have apologized for missing it on the invitation. It might have made Aunt B realize that she should have been clear about that.

Sun Dec 16, 05:25:00 PM 2007  
Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

Aunt B? Like from Opie?

Sun Dec 16, 10:02:00 PM 2007  
Blogger Dad Stuff said...

Aunt B.should know that when your family is invited, your whole family is coming.
Your kids probably wanted the microphone to give their own speeches.

Sun Dec 16, 10:08:00 PM 2007  
Blogger TwoBusy said...

The best thing is the way Aunt B came up to both of you to make it entirely clear that CHILDREN ARE FORBIDDEN and that you BROKE THE UNSPOKEN LAW. For shame! For shame!

(Congrats, however, on choosing to express your remorse via mimosas. Solid choice.)

Mon Dec 17, 09:27:00 AM 2007  
Blogger samokdaddy said...

I gotta give you props. You handled it better than most. It sucked that they didn't specifically say anything about no kids in the invite. Frankly, I would have had our oldest boy secretly pee in the punch and then left. Oh well...

Mon Dec 17, 10:55:00 AM 2007  
Blogger Stepping Over the Junk said...

next time she can be sure by hiring you a babysitter...that would get her point across. I cant believe they said something about you having the kids there! This made me laugh...about the mimosas

Mon Dec 17, 09:14:00 PM 2007  

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