Thursday, September 27, 2007

Must Have Been The Harvest Moon

I'd love a good nap. That's the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning. - George Costanza

I have mentioned that Mrs. Joe goes out on Thursday nights. Well, Wednesday nights are my night out. For the last 10 plus years, the same bunch of guys have played darts in a local pub league. We meet at our nearby watering hole, throw some darts, have a few beers, watch the Red Sox and ogle the much younger women that may be there. Unfortunately, I usually don’t get home to bed much before 1 am. I am a big boy though, I can handle one night a week with little sleep. I remember when the kids were young, being up 3 or 4 times some nights when Mrs. Joe was breastfeeding.

Yes, I know, she did all the work and I was back asleep in minutes.

But hey, I still woke up.

Thankfully, now that the kids are older, those sleepless nights are few and far between. But somebody decided last night would become a good reminder of those nights. Let’s set the timeline;

12:45: Arrived home after one too many Sams.

1:00: Went to bed after wiping out half a bag of Lay’s potato chips while watching Baseball Tonight on ESPN.

2:45: Awoke by the sweet calls of Peanut looking to join Mrs. Joe & I in our bed. I begrudgingly obliged.

3:15: Awoke again by The Champ poking me and whispering something I could not understand. This is where I got a little testy and marched The Champ back to his bed only to discover the reason he came into our room was to tell us he had an accident.

3:30: After stripping and remaking The Champ’s bed, washing him up and putting him back into HIS bed, I got back to my bed and found Peanut had taken over my side. As I ever so gently tried to put her back into her crib, she woke up and made it loud and clear she was not be relocated.

3:35: I gave up sleeping in my bed and relocated to the couch, which was littered with potato chip crumbs.

6:00: I left the “comforts” of the couch and returned back to my bed after The Champ came down stairs to watch Legends Of The Hidden Temple.

6:30: Awoke for good by Mrs. Joe turning on the ceiling light in our room and telling me it was time to get in the shower. Remember, she didn’t sleep too well either.

That felt better. Thanks for letting me get it off my chest. If anybody needs me, I’ll be under my desk.

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Monday, September 24, 2007

More Hardware For The Trophy Case

Although its not an American League East Division Title, that will hopefully come later this week, Clare’s Dad has given me another piece of hardware.

The Blogger Reflection Award is given to bloggers “who have been an encouragement, a source of love, impacted you in some way, and have been a Godly example to you. Bloggers who, when you reflect on them you get a sense of pride and joy…of knowing them and being blessed by them.”

Thanks for the award. I’m not too sure I deserve it, compared to the others mentioned but thanks again, anyway. Like life there are rules to follow, even when you get some blog bling:

Copy this set of rules.
Reflect on five bloggers and write a least a paragraph about each one.
Make sure you link this post so others can read it and the rules.
Go leave your chosen bloggers a comment and let them know they’ve been given the award.
Put the award icon on your site.

Okay, I'm bending the rules a little bit. I'm only mentioning two bloggers.

T, over at Attack Of The Redneck Mommy, lost her son Shalebug a while back. Although she used to have a blog specifically for him, she retired it earlier this year. I stop and pause whenever she posts about him and how much life he brought to her and her family. It is wonderful to read that she is actively trying to adopt another child.

Ben & Bennie are a father and son duo that makes my heart ache at times. Reading touching stories about Ben and his art as well as the sacrifices Bennie makes each and every day prove they both can be an inspiration to us all.

Reading both T’s and Bennie’s wonderful stories make me realize one's strength is not measured in how much weight one can carry but how much one can endure.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

A Sure Sign That Fall Is Coming

As upsetting as it is that summer's end is near, a few of these and maybe some apple picking will cure those "end-of-summer" blues.


Tuesday, September 18, 2007

I’ll Learn To Keep My Big Mouth Shut

Guess what The Champ came home from school with yesterday? Yes, that lovely, not-so-little fundraiser envelope that I had previously noted with amazement had not shown up yet. And can you also guess what great items he will be selling?

Is it A: Chocolates?

Or B: Magazines?

Or C: Wrapping paper?

The correct answer would be…

D: All of the above.

The sales packet contained chocolates, magazines, wrapping paper, calendars, candles, scrapbooking supplies...

From now on, I’m not going to say a word. Next, The Champ will probably spring a bake sale on Mrs. Joe at the last minute.

I expect to be frosting cupcakes at midnight any day now.


Thursday, September 13, 2007

It Would Be Easier To Just Buy Some Wrapping Paper

Mrs. Joe & I attended parent/teacher night Tuesday for The Champ. We met the wonderful woman who is in charge of keeping our son from juvenile delinquency educating our son and found out she’s been teaching kindergarten for 23 years.

Never mind Mother Teresa, this is the woman who should be fast tracked for sainthood.

We still haven’t received anything to sell and its two weeks into the year. This has to be a record. That or The Champ has given away all the candy bars to his new friends with Mrs. Joe & I on the hook for the payment.

But we were informed by The Champ that the school is raising money by collecting box tops as well as Sox Tops. So now any box of food has to be inspected by The Champ to see if there is a coupon to be cut out. Last night he got upset at Mrs. Joe for not buying Hood brand milk for the Sox Top. He doesn’t understand the school only gets five cents for each cap but it costs us almost a dollar a gallon more for Hood brand milk if it isn’t on sale. Sounds like a gimmick by Hood to me.

They are also collecting soda can tabs for Shriners Hospitals. They collect and recycle the aluminum tabs and purchase medical equipment. The Champ is right on top of this, too. He’s asking us to pull off every tab he sees.

“Sorry Champ, that can of soda isn’t even opened yet.”

It’s good that he is getting involved, but to cut out every box top, hang onto every milk bottle cap and pull off every soda can tab will probably get annoying. But I guess it could be worse. I could be walking door to door with him selling magazine subscriptions.


Sunday, September 09, 2007

Mrs. Joe Has Left Me

Not for good. Come on now, I’m not that bad. Although last year’s Christmas gift might have been the reason for that suitcase sitting by the door until May.

No, she’s gone on a little vacation.

A friend she used to work with, who now lives outside Atlanta has come up. Their plan is to go away for a few days. Funny thing is, up until yesterday they still hadn’t decided on where to go. At first, they were going to either Foxwoods or Mohegan Sun for a day at the spa. That changed to going to Rockport, MA, which then changed to shopping up in Ogunquit, ME. Finally, because the weather looks rainy, they decided on two days of shopping in Boston.

They left this morning and are coming back tomorrow night. That leaves me in charge of the troops for the next two days. This will be the first time she has gone overnight since she was pregnant with Peanut. This means, I now realize after some math, the children have me outnumbered.

Don’t get me wrong. Mrs. Joe gets plenty of time away from the house. It’s just that it’s usually only 10 minutes away from the house. If the need to call in reinforcements arises, she’s close by.

I think I can handle it though. What’s to do? It’s only the rest of today, which is making three dinners, giving them both baths, putting them in their pajamas, reading a few bedtime stories, putting them to bed and making three lunches for tomorrow. And then tomorrow, which is getting them up, feeding them breakfast, getting them dressed, taking The Champ to school & Peanut to daycare and go to work for 8 hours. And then leaving work, then picking The Champ up from school, picking Peanut up from daycare, feeding them both dinner, giving them both baths, putting them in their pajamas, reading a few bedtime stories, putting them to bed, making three lunches for Tuesday and cleaning up the house before Mrs. Joe gets home tomorrow night.

Holy shit, that’s a lot to do!

She will come back, right?


Thursday, September 06, 2007

Can He Be Falling Behind Already?

Mrs. Joe & I were sitting at the dinner table last night. Dinner was much better than in recent days. The Champ came up to me and asked me a question.

“Dad, can you show me how to make armpit farts?”

“What do you mean? They’re easy”

“At school, Nate can do them really good and I can’t. Will you show me?”

“Absolutely not!” (Who do you think said that?)

As the trouble making boy in me left and was replaced by the guiding father,

“Your mother is right. That is something you shouldn't be doing at school.”

As he walked away, and to Mrs. Joes' dismay, I gave him a quick one of my own.

While Mrs. Joe is at Pilates tonight, maybe I’ll teach him how to make spitballs.


Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Any Deeper Of A Hole, He’d Been Served Chinese Noodles

Peanut, The Champ and myself were sitting down at the dinner table last evening. Spaghetti was on the menu for the evening. As Mrs. Joe was in the kitchen filling the bowls, she mentioned to The Champ something about picking up the living room after dinner.

He whined, “Why do I have to do everything?”

I replied, “You don’t do everything.”

“Yes I do. Mommy doesn't do anything. She just tells me to do it.”

Trying to rescue him, “Mommy does a lot. She made dinner tonight, didn't she?”

“That’s all she does. She makes me do everything else.”

At that point I said to myself, "Kid, you're on your own."

By now Mrs. Joe had sat down at the table and was giving us the eye. He must have realized he stepped into something as he kept pretty quiet the rest of dinner.

I had no idea where his little outburst came from. Maybe it is lack of sleep now that kindergarten has started and he does not get a nap. That, along with an all day picnic on Sunday, must have caused my son to lose his mind.

Maybe afterwards he should have complimented her on dinner.

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