Friday, March 09, 2007

Naming Rights Available

For The Champ, it was easy.

Leave your boys alone!

Simple. Easy. Understood. But I have a dilemma now and I need help. I don't know what word to use when referring to my daughter's...vagina. There, I said it.

Peanut has discovered hers and can't keep her hands off of it. Specifically when I'm changing her diaper. Needless to say that is the worst time she could be poking around there but I am finding it difficult to tell her no because I don't know what to call it.

Leave your vagina alone!

See, it doesn't sound right. It's not really a vagina yet anyway, is it? Well, not to me because I'm her dad, I guess. When I hear the term "vagina", I start thinking properly, as in medical and reproduction. That thought leads to the future, which means her, um, vagina becomes a two-way street. Not one-way. And right now, up until she's 30 and married, there will be the hugest "do not enter" sign posted.

So I'm asking you all to tell me your cute names for your daughter's...privates (that sounds dumb, too). This way, while I'm changing another diaper, I can tell her to leave it alone without the need of an anatomy class.



Blogger Redneck Mommy said...

Joe, Joe, Joe, she says sadly, as she shakes her head. Now's about the time you need to man up and grab the bull by the horns. (Figuratively speaking...) Or, to use a more technical term...Grow a set.

It's a VAGINA. Nothing shameful about it. Say it loud, say it proud. (Which I have been known to do...whether I was drunk or not...I'm classy like that...)

If the proper terminology still freaks you out and you think that by actually using the word VAGINA will sentence your daughter to a life time of pole dancing and backseat workouts, then may I suggest any of the following:

Jay-jay (as in Va-jay-jay)
Pink bits

That's all I can think of with out getting all pornographic. Hard to think of names for a VAGINA without getting all smutty.

My advice: Ask the wife. She has one. She might have an opinion.


Such a pretty word.

You still love me?

Sat Mar 10, 11:09:00 AM 2007  
Blogger Redneck Mommy said...

I just asked my ten year old daughter for her opinion. She offered up the following:

Wee Wee (not bad)


Hot Dog Buns..

I think I may have a stroke right about now.

Stop laughing dammit. It's not funny.

Sat Mar 10, 11:13:00 AM 2007  
Blogger Oh, The Joys said...

I'm for hotdog buns!! HA ha ha ha!!

Sat Mar 10, 04:20:00 PM 2007  
Blogger Chelle said...

LOL I'm sorry for laughing but this kind of tickled my funny I have three kids and I guess I never really thought about that kind of thing when I changed their diapers! With my boys it was always didn't' seem strange or odd to use the real name....but with my daughter it was "pee pee". lol I never thought anything about that until I read your post. lol It just seemed weird to call it a vagina for some reason.

Mon Mar 12, 12:22:00 AM 2007  
Blogger Sue said...

OMG I just spit my tea on my keyboard over "hot dog buns"!...

We just use the generic term "privates".. Too many years of Catholic school, I guess.

Mon Mar 12, 09:55:00 AM 2007  
Blogger Darren a/k/a Clare's Dad said...

Count Clare's Mom and me among more Catholic schoolers who just say privates. And after some of those other suggestions it doesn't sound so dumb.

Hot dog buns...LOL.

Mon Mar 12, 06:03:00 PM 2007  
Anonymous Dan said...

We've kind of evolved into saying front bottom, but not through any choice and personaly i think it's a bit naff.

Over here in england it is often referred to as a Fanny.

Tue Mar 13, 06:23:00 PM 2007  
Blogger MamaMichelsBabies said...

Boom's is still referred to as "Yaya" simply because when she was a munchkin that's how she was able to say vagina... and it made Big Ug less freaked out by it *snicker*

Hot Dog Buns? I dang near spewed coffee all over the place, can't wait to tell Ug that one.

Sat Mar 17, 02:36:00 AM 2007  
Anonymous Joe said...

We tell our girls it is their "girl part" and it has stuck. Lamest thing ever I know, but it works for us.

Fri Mar 30, 12:21:00 AM 2007  

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