Monday, December 18, 2006

Don't Go There

This past Saturday was my company's Christmas party. I was looking forward to going. Partly due to the whole "spend time outside of work with your co-workers" crap. But I also knew I would be out with my wife again, seeing people we haven't seen in awhile. Like last weekend's Christmas party, Mrs. Joe was looking great and was complemented for her recent weight loss. She was feeling pretty good about herself again. Which, as I previously posted, makes me a happy man.

Unfortunately, all it took was this dumbass I work with to derail that train. Dick, not his real name, but for this story it fits, is one of those guys who has no problem telling you what's on his mind. No matter how dumb, rude & insensitive it may be. Mrs. Joe & I know him to be a idiot and we usually are able to blow him off. But he made a comment that even I couldn't believe.

Dick: Wow! You look great.

Mrs. Joe: Thank you.

Dick: Too bad you lost all your boobs.

That was it. All the complements from the last two weeks weren't going to defend against that bomb. Mrs. Joe handled it quite well. I believe she told him to "fuck off" or something to that effect. He apologized for the remark, claiming not to realize he insulted her. Mrs. Joe is not easily offended but I knew she was not too happy about the comment. If I have learned anything about how my wife feels about her body after two kids is this:

You don't mention the boobs.

She's come to accept the belly, the stretchmarks, the increased shoe size, even the hemorrhoids. But God Almighty, stay away from the boobs. Absolutely nothing good can come from a conversation with my wife that includes talk about her boobs. All the Victoria's Secret IPEX bras in the world will not make her feel good about the girls right now.

We left the party early. Seeing we were all dressed up, I took her to a real nice place for one last drink before getting the kids at the MIL's house. We bitched about Dick's comments and laughed at my president's dancing and still ended up having a fine ending to a good evening.



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